I think weddings are strange

So, I'm getting hitched. Tying the knot. Taking the plunge. Getting married. And I'm over the moon at the idea of spending the rest of the life with the man I adore, cherish, and love. I love the notion of marriage (although I always spell it "marraige" and have to deal with that stupid red squiggly line every time) and have always envisioned myself as getting married. So, it's not the idea of marriage that I think is strange. It's the whole wedding thing that is strange.

Well, let me be more specific. It's the way weddings are packaged and sold to young women like me that I find strange. Take The Knot for example. This one stop online and magazine destination for all things weddings is nauseating. I'm sorry, theknot.com drives me insane. I signed up for it so that I could launch a website for me and Jake and our big day (which, is apparently the vogue thing to do these days, create a wedding website because it's gauche to list your registries on invitations but okay to do so on the website... yadda yadda). Every time I log on to that site I start to have a panic attack. First, it lists the days left until your wedding. Yikes, as if I don't feel behind enough in my planning already. Then, it sends you email checklists of things you should have done this month, which, if you are me and a graduate student, is probably going to get done whenever the hell you can fit it in between classes, teaching, grading, seeing clients, having a meltdown, etc etc. Cue the shaking of the hands as I scroll down the page. THEN, it barages you with ideas for your big day. Have you thought about what kind of reception gifts you'd like to give away? What about your hairstlye? And your rings? Have you gotten them insured yet? Oh, and have you remembered to research your ethinc and religious customs yet for the ceremony? You don't want to forget that. Oh, and don't even get me started on the constant advertising on facebook for everything from wedding photographers, stationery, and honeymoons. I just want to be left alone, thank you very much!

Holy crap, batman. It's like I could quit going to school and plan a wedding full time! And I'm thinking to myself... What did couples do before The Knot and thier incessant reminders? Were all weddings pre-The Knot total disasters? NO! They were beautiful. They were personal and charming and manageable. This is what I'm talking about. Weddings are an enterprise now and I fully hate that. It's become a day to impress your guests with how much you can spend and how much you can afford and so many women get caught up in this. Don't get me wrong, a LOT of women do not fall prey to the wedding-wild market out there. And also, I'm not knocking throwing a blow out party of a lifetime to celebrate a wonderful ritual that I believe is beautiful and meaningful and worthwhile. I just hate the constant marketing toward brides and grooms that makes us feel like we ought to be doing more in order to have a presentable wedding.

And I'm not gonna lie. The moment Jacob slipped that ring on my finger and we began thinking about our wedding day, I got all gooey and mushy and the little girl inside of me started thinking of all the pretty, flowery, gooey mushy things I could do for my wedding. And I'm happy that there are people out there that get that part of wedding planning. But I feel that many of us have lost the sentiment that weddings are supposed to represent. It's a day to publicly declare to friends and family (and God or your diety of choice or whatever) that you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life loving them. I see it very much as a time to ritualize that declaration of love and celebrate the couple's happiness AND the love and happiness of everyone in attendance. You don't need to do that with personally monogrammed napkins and a chocolate fountain for guests to bathe in. You do what you can. You do what feels right for you and then you say f*ck it to the rest.

I think weddings can be strange. I thinkI think they can also be wonderful displays of love and that each and every human being on this planet, no matter who they are (screw Prop8), should be able to enjoy having. I guess, in the end, who am I to complain. I have a great family that is supportive of what Jacob and I want and are willing to provide us with what they can. It'll be a wonderful day that I know I'll never forget. But really, what I'm most looking forward to after the dress has been worn, the cake devoured, and the flowers withered, is the life I spend with the man I adore. And honestly, that's all that matters.