Ah, IKEA. Say it with me now, "IKEAAAAAAAA...." Let it linger on your tongue, for you know the goodness that IKEA brings. As all are Irish on St. Patty's Day, all are Swedish for the hour and a half you're in IKEA. From the meatballs and lingenberry sauce to the Rykstopp pillow cases and Orgendorf side table, it's a festival of all things the good ol' Swedes do best - make stuff. Mostly furniture. Sometimes bizarre lamps. But strap on your clogs, friends, for a trip to IKEA is more than just bright blue and yellow tarp bags and DIY bookcaes. Oh no no no. Don't let the adorable names and cutsey kids' playsets fool you. IKEA is an beautiful, wonder, but totally evil trap. It sucks you in and makes you incapable of purchasing the correct parts for anything you buy. It blinds you with cuteness and makes you feel like you're finally doing something good for yourself and your home. And then it turns on you...
Trust me.
I've been there twice today. That's right. Twice. This, my friends, did not make me at all happy. Certainly not clog-wearing, meatball-eating, Orgentopp-buying happy. Nope. Two trips in one day is badddddddd. It makes Rachel maddddddd.
Mind you, this store is approximately 45 minutes away. Add in the outrageous lines (it's a TUESDAY, people!! What are you doing in IKEA?!?! Don't you have jobs???), the traffic jams in the textiles department, and you've got yourself a full-on afternoon spent Swede-ing it up in a gigantic West Chester superstore. Oh, and to make matters worse, I heard at least two Spice Girls songs while I was there. Ok, well, maybe that makes things better... but you get my point.
I always have to gear myself up for these IKEA trips, especially when Jacob goes with me. He and I have the inane ability to spend massive amounts of money when we're together. We pawn it off as loving gestures to one another, like, "Oh, well if that extra $50 basket will really make you happy, then let's get it!" Or, "It's just $28 extra worth of pillow cases, so that seems reasonable..." And then we put it in the cart (or, if it's IKEA, one of those industrial sized dolleys) and go on our merry way to the next inappropriate purchase. So, today, before we left, I mentally prepared myself for the economy-stimulating afternoon ahead, drank my latte, and told myself to just enjoy.
And, to my shock, when we got there at about noon, the store was RELATIVELY quiet. I mean, I wasn't bumping into someone every time I turned around, but I did definitely step on a very short woman's foot while Jacob and I were looking for couches (NOT on our list of things to be looking for) and then I hit a kid in the neck with a rug. Don't ask. Suffice it to say, Jacob and I were having a blast, picking up things for my office (which is what we were making the trip for) and doing some other fun shopping.
Things were looking up.
Then you hit the "Self Service" area. We all know what this looks like. It's an airplane hangar sized room lined on opposing walls with Costco-esque shelves filled with piles and piles and stack and stacks of materials. You want a dresser? Good! Aisle 32 Bin 21. A hangar that houses all your scarves? Aisle 14 Bin 9. And so on and so on. Hopefully you wrote this code down while you were walking around the store, or else you're screwed. I also hope that you can reach and lift whatever t is you're looking for. It's not always a given that the 6 foot tall mirror you want is within reaching distance. It probably also weighs about 100 lbs, so good luck with that one, too.
This, my friends, is when you first start to think that IKEA is somewhat evil. But, again, the blue and yellow signs assuage your fears and you continue to numbly hunt around. This is FUN, remember??
Ok, ok, so let's assume that you get what you need, lug it to the check out (labels forward!), stuff it into your car (have any of you ever hit the wall on this one? Those damn shelves just... won't... get... into.... the back... of the... damn minivan!!!!), and get home. You're excited. You're jazzed. You've just gotten the best shelving system or coffee table or desk or whatever and you're stoked to put it together. What a blast! Maybe you even got some IKEAchocolate on the way out and you've got this great sugar-buzz going on and you're just ready to DIY the shit out of your IKEA purchases.
You love IKEA again. It's true. You've totally forgotten about the splinter you got lifting the wooden shelf or the toe that got crushed by the over-zealous 20-something lady that stomped on your foot while she was running from couch to couch with her husband (um, sorry about that...). No matter that you spent two more hours in that store than you planned! Or the fact that the drive home was miserably uncomfortable because you had to push the seat all the way forward, making you eat dash, just so the love seat would fit in the back of the car. It was all in the name of getting somewhat inexpensive, somewhat adorable, but totally freaking awesome stuff into your poor, badly decorated, horribly organized home. Ah yes. It's love again.
But then... you realize it. Your stomach flops over. The bile rises in your throat. The scream barrels out of your mouth, "NOOOOO!!!" Yes, you realize it. Or in my case, Jacob realizes it. We've totally miscounted how many sides we needed to our book shelf system. We needed 4. We bought 3. OMFG (as Jacob would say). But wait wait wait. It gets better! The shelves we've purchased don't have the hardware that's usually strapped on them. They're useless. We just purchased $100 worth of wood, basically. Just piles of wood. Awesome. This was supposed to be my desk and shelving system. I guess I could just stack it all up and sit next to it and use THAT as my desk...?
And, this is what I'm talking about. EVIL IKEA! You swoon me and make me love you and then, WHAP! You take it all away. Just like that. Granted, I'm the idiot that forgot to buy the stupid side part of the shelf, but you, YOU were the idiot that didn't attach any freaking hardware! Not my fault, IKEA. And now I have to trudge back, 45 minutes and a million lines and a stupid return policy later, to get new little silver pieces to attach my shelves. Those little silver bolts and fasteners will be the end of me...
This is not the first time, nor will it be the last time, I'm sure, that I will be forced into a two-a-day IKEA excursion against my own will. And yet, I do sometimes wonder if I'm just the only stupid person that cannot just do it right the first time. Or why I haven't learned my lesson and started to check and double check my items before checking out and taking them home... but for some reason, my IKEA trips are just plain flawed.
Maybe it's me. Maybe it's IKEA. Either way, as I sit at my Ivar desk on my Uterstafajfkdorflskna chair, I begrudingly admit that I love to hate IKEA. I confess, I can't wait to go back to that store. I want those meatballs even though they make my stomach hurt. I want to sit on the gigantic shopping cart while Jacob pushes me through the over-sized aisles. I want more stuff. ANd, yes, I know I'll screw it up or THEY will screw it up, and I'll think it's evil and out to get me. But, it's IKEA. The giver of all things good and sweet and honest. The place where magic happens and kids eat free before 11am. IKEA. Say it with me now, "IKEAAAAAAA..." Ah. That's better.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Updates, updates from 2009
Updates - at the close of 2009...
It's truly been one of those years that I think back on, sigh, and say, "How the hell did we get through this?" Beside the litany of family issues (and BOY was this ever a good year for that stuff!), there was my decision to stop grad school, the excitement of the wedding, and the stress and joy a new puppy brings. How we managed it ALL is beyond me. I mean... how the hell did it all happen?
I remember last year, sitting down to write my Thanksgiving post, feeling happy to just have fingernails! That's how crazy the end of last year was. And, of course, that only rolled into a more stressful, more insane year of 2009. I never imagined that we'd be able to muster the gumption to see another year through. But, cycle on we do, and live on we must, and so goes another calendar year.
For me, personally, this year has been one of true bittersweet beginnings and endings. As we speak, Jacob's father has made it through, by the skin of his teeth and via his own sheer will to keep on living, yet another heart attack. This one left him with barely any heart function and more of a chance that he'd not make it than ever before. But by golly, he's up, awake, funny, sarcastic, and asking after our dog (like usual). Yes, bittersweet. He's here, but it's clear that it's the beginning of the end.
Then, of course, there are more trivial matters, like my choice to end grad school and go searching for a "calling" that is pulling me somewhere... I just don't know exactly where. This decision was two years in the making, and while I'm happy to be done with the droning on and on that happens within the academy, I'm sad to think that this sure-fire thing I had going on (i.e. being a student) is ending. So are my dreams to be a PhD before 30 - not that I ever really wanted that, I just thought I did. Or something. The sword cuts both ways on this one. On the plus side, I'm free. On the negative side, I'm somewhat lost. On the whole though, I'm supported through this adventure, which is ultimately makes it a decision worth making.
My family is finally (fingers crossed!) making it out of the woods. And those were some nasty, NASTY woods we all trudged through in 2009. I have more hope than ever in my brother and sister, as well as my parents and myself, that we're going to be ok. Finally. Sometimes I wonder what we all did in a past life to be put through such pain this year! Yet again, the silver lining is that we now appreciate each other more than ever, and hopefully this sentiment won't dissolve any time soon.
Penny and Jacob are well. In fact, they are my life and my joy each and every day. Jacob is the best human being that was ever placed on this planet. He's shown me - in such beautiful ways - how to be a husband, a friend, and a true confidant. How I ever managed to live life before him is sometimes beyond me! How I made it this far in grad school seems impossible without him, that's for sure. And that darn puppy... she's a little slice of heaven. A menace, to be sure, but a joy nonetheless.
Updates, updates... Makes me wonder what 2010 will bring. A new job? New friends? New adventures? New crises? New worries? Yes, probably. But, my goodness, if 2009 has taught me anything it's that I can handle a LOT. I mean... a LOT. Not to taunt 2010, but bring it on! I'm able to handle whatever you throw at me. Not much scares me anymore. Bring it.
It's truly been one of those years that I think back on, sigh, and say, "How the hell did we get through this?" Beside the litany of family issues (and BOY was this ever a good year for that stuff!), there was my decision to stop grad school, the excitement of the wedding, and the stress and joy a new puppy brings. How we managed it ALL is beyond me. I mean... how the hell did it all happen?
I remember last year, sitting down to write my Thanksgiving post, feeling happy to just have fingernails! That's how crazy the end of last year was. And, of course, that only rolled into a more stressful, more insane year of 2009. I never imagined that we'd be able to muster the gumption to see another year through. But, cycle on we do, and live on we must, and so goes another calendar year.
For me, personally, this year has been one of true bittersweet beginnings and endings. As we speak, Jacob's father has made it through, by the skin of his teeth and via his own sheer will to keep on living, yet another heart attack. This one left him with barely any heart function and more of a chance that he'd not make it than ever before. But by golly, he's up, awake, funny, sarcastic, and asking after our dog (like usual). Yes, bittersweet. He's here, but it's clear that it's the beginning of the end.
Then, of course, there are more trivial matters, like my choice to end grad school and go searching for a "calling" that is pulling me somewhere... I just don't know exactly where. This decision was two years in the making, and while I'm happy to be done with the droning on and on that happens within the academy, I'm sad to think that this sure-fire thing I had going on (i.e. being a student) is ending. So are my dreams to be a PhD before 30 - not that I ever really wanted that, I just thought I did. Or something. The sword cuts both ways on this one. On the plus side, I'm free. On the negative side, I'm somewhat lost. On the whole though, I'm supported through this adventure, which is ultimately makes it a decision worth making.
My family is finally (fingers crossed!) making it out of the woods. And those were some nasty, NASTY woods we all trudged through in 2009. I have more hope than ever in my brother and sister, as well as my parents and myself, that we're going to be ok. Finally. Sometimes I wonder what we all did in a past life to be put through such pain this year! Yet again, the silver lining is that we now appreciate each other more than ever, and hopefully this sentiment won't dissolve any time soon.
Penny and Jacob are well. In fact, they are my life and my joy each and every day. Jacob is the best human being that was ever placed on this planet. He's shown me - in such beautiful ways - how to be a husband, a friend, and a true confidant. How I ever managed to live life before him is sometimes beyond me! How I made it this far in grad school seems impossible without him, that's for sure. And that darn puppy... she's a little slice of heaven. A menace, to be sure, but a joy nonetheless.
Updates, updates... Makes me wonder what 2010 will bring. A new job? New friends? New adventures? New crises? New worries? Yes, probably. But, my goodness, if 2009 has taught me anything it's that I can handle a LOT. I mean... a LOT. Not to taunt 2010, but bring it on! I'm able to handle whatever you throw at me. Not much scares me anymore. Bring it.
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