Updates, updates from 2009

Updates - at the close of 2009...

It's truly been one of those years that I think back on, sigh, and say, "How the hell did we get through this?" Beside the litany of family issues (and BOY was this ever a good year for that stuff!), there was my decision to stop grad school, the excitement of the wedding, and the stress and joy a new puppy brings. How we managed it ALL is beyond me. I mean... how the hell did it all happen?

I remember last year, sitting down to write my Thanksgiving post, feeling happy to just have fingernails! That's how crazy the end of last year was. And, of course, that only rolled into a more stressful, more insane year of 2009. I never imagined that we'd be able to muster the gumption to see another year through. But, cycle on we do, and live on we must, and so goes another calendar year.

For me, personally, this year has been one of true bittersweet beginnings and endings. As we speak, Jacob's father has made it through, by the skin of his teeth and via his own sheer will to keep on living, yet another heart attack. This one left him with barely any heart function and more of a chance that he'd not make it than ever before. But by golly, he's up, awake, funny, sarcastic, and asking after our dog (like usual). Yes, bittersweet. He's here, but it's clear that it's the beginning of the end.

Then, of course, there are more trivial matters, like my choice to end grad school and go searching for a "calling" that is pulling me somewhere... I just don't know exactly where. This decision was two years in the making, and while I'm happy to be done with the droning on and on that happens within the academy, I'm sad to think that this sure-fire thing I had going on (i.e. being a student) is ending. So are my dreams to be a PhD before 30 - not that I ever really wanted that, I just thought I did. Or something. The sword cuts both ways on this one. On the plus side, I'm free. On the negative side, I'm somewhat lost. On the whole though, I'm supported through this adventure, which is ultimately makes it a decision worth making.

My family is finally (fingers crossed!) making it out of the woods. And those were some nasty, NASTY woods we all trudged through in 2009. I have more hope than ever in my brother and sister, as well as my parents and myself, that we're going to be ok. Finally. Sometimes I wonder what we all did in a past life to be put through such pain this year! Yet again, the silver lining is that we now appreciate each other more than ever, and hopefully this sentiment won't dissolve any time soon.


Penny and Jacob are well. In fact, they are my life and my joy each and every day. Jacob is the best human being that was ever placed on this planet. He's shown me - in such beautiful ways - how to be a husband, a friend, and a true confidant. How I ever managed to live life before him is sometimes beyond me! How I made it this far in grad school seems impossible without him, that's for sure. And that darn puppy... she's a little slice of heaven. A menace, to be sure, but a joy nonetheless.

Updates, updates... Makes me wonder what 2010 will bring. A new job? New friends? New adventures? New crises? New worries? Yes, probably. But, my goodness, if 2009 has taught me anything it's that I can handle a LOT. I mean... a LOT. Not to taunt 2010, but bring it on! I'm able to handle whatever you throw at me. Not much scares me anymore. Bring it.